Last night I found one of my many, many journals. I read through the past five years of my life via late night ramblings and early morning prayers. Journals are so interesting. Even back in 2012, I had some pretty solid thought processes. Here are a few of my favorites.
“I’ve realized recently that while I am in the middle of something it feels like that one thing is my whole world. But there is so much more.”
That truth still applies to my life every single day. Perspective is a rare quality that I am constantly searching for. With perspective comes peace.
Why did I ever, ever think that TTYL was necessary? If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that TTYL is NOT okay.
“If I don’t learn to be satisfied with Christ alone, I will never be truly satisfied, no matter what I gain. Boom. Done.”
Being convicted by your past self is a strange thing. Being content is not something that the culture teaches us, but it is so important. Attempting to always have the latest and greatest is a dangerous game to play. It never leaves you satisfied. Only God can do that. I also really enjoy the fact that the phrase “Boom. Done.” is a part of my journal on a regular basis.
“I got a really expensive sandwich.”
I wish I was making this sentence up, but this is in my journal. This was my, “I’ve never been in an airport alone before and I am flying home from Costa Rica solo and I don’t know what to say to myself” post. So full of wisdom and proper grammar.
“One of the most dangerous things a person can do is think about what might have been.”
Regret and guilt are not from Jesus. Don’t look backwards and wonder and wish and change your mind. Look forward and hope and plan and dream.
“It was so good, and it had ice!”
That random statement basically sums up my mission trip to Baja in 2010. We did manual labor in the desert for two weeks. On our last day in Mexico we went to a restaurant and at this restaurant they served ice in their beverages. I think a few members of my team cried with joy.
“I’ll wait. I always wait. Quietly, but not still.”
Sometimes when we ask God for something we take ourselves completely out of the solution. If I ask God for a solid friendship with a person, but never put any effort into that relationship, what am I doing? I believe in waiting on God to move, but I believe that God wants me to move too.
“I’ve learned this past year that I don’t have my life together. At all. But I’ve also learned that most people don’t.”
I still don’t have my life together, and that is still okay.
If you don’t journal, you are missing out on seeing yourself grow and change.
Journal entries are snapshots of emotions. In my journals you can see the times that I’ve had to stop writing because I’m laughing. You can see the wet spots from the tears that have fallen while pouring my heart out on a page. You can feel teenage angst and frustration. In my journals you can see me. My journals show my journey, and I love watching my past self grow.